A Modern Day Myth
By Katherine Wood
PART I
POISONOUS SACRIFICE
The path led Sorrow to a new door. She had taken another wrong turn - but it would be her last. The sign above the door read: ‘YOU CAN CHECK IN ANY TIME YOU LIKE – BUT YOU WONT WANT TO LEAVE’.
Sounds of laughter and cheer invited her in. As Sorrow entered the hotel she was overjoyed to see many old friends who were a part of her happiest childhood memories, but she never dreamed that she would get the chance to laugh and play with them again.
“Well look at YOU now!” a voice called out.
“Wow, it’s great to see you again!” called another.
It felt as though her past had caught up with the present and became as one. How happy she felt that she had decided to choose this place after all.
It was a smoky crowded bar. Sorrow was intently scanning the room picking out familiar faces when in walked a tall, raggedly handsome man. Her eyes followed him to the stage where he sat down at the drums. The music began to build, with the drumming over-powering everything but her curiosity about him and as fate would have it, he began looking directly at her. Sorrow’s body language spoke loudly as she straightened up on her stool and flicked her hair back from her shoulders. When the song had finished the drummer stepped off the stage and walked over to her.
“Hi, I’m Sacrifice. I’m wondering why I haven’t noticed you here before.”
Sorrow had an answer, but the words wouldn’t come out as she was instantly drawn into his transparent blue eyes that were like deep, clear pools of water and it was already too late; she was bitten. And so began the dance. That beautiful, gut-wrenching love dance between Sorrow and Sacrifice, and danced they did with such bitter-sweet steps, night after night, week after week, until that fateful night arrived.
Unaware of what laid before them, they were having so much fun dancing with their friends, drinking, laughing and acting like kids again.
Then suddenly a voice screamed through the crowd, “There’s a gas leak! Quick, we gotta get outta here!”
The lights went out. Everyone hurried to the exits but found that the doors wouldn’t open. No power! Panic had set in.
“No one light a cigarette! I’ll phone for help!” yelled the manager.
Shortly after, he made an announcement: “Attention everyone, the emergency services are on their way but the main road is now flooded from that storm out there and it could take a while.”
For just a moment, a heavy silence came over the place, and then the night continued among friends in the darkness, with beer, chatting and nervous laughter.
PART 2
THE KEYMAN
He was a strange little man, the maintenance guy of the hotel, known to all as Keyman. This was because his job required him to carry every key to all the locks in the hotel. His bunch of keys was so great that their weight around his waist seemed to make him walk in a bent over, lop-sided fashion. He knew everyone and everything about this old place, even more than the manager did.
Concerned about the current situation, Keyman wandered through the crowd trying to convince the people to follow him to a secret tunnel in the basement that only he knew of, insisting it would lead them all to safety away from the dangerous fumes that were slowly but surely filling the hotel.
In his soft, strong voice he pleaded: “Come with me … help won’t be coming here tonight, and it never will for that matter … the storm out there is overwhelming, and help can only help itself.”
The regulars just ignored him as usual. He often walked around saying strange things to people that they didn’t understand. Everyone considered him an old eccentric. But Sorrow just couldn’t ignore him.
“Let’s go with him, I have a gut feeling he knows something we don’t, and if we ignore him we could suffocate!” she pleaded to Sacrifice.
“Get a grip! The man’s crazy, and help’s on its way,” he replied impatiently. “…and you know that we’re meant to stay together,” speaking now in a tender voice.
Sorrow, so full of sorrow, knew that Sacrifice could take her to the heights of heaven itself, but had also glimpsed his hell. She’d had this feeling before and knowing it all too well, realised she could not risk losing herself again. So when Sacrifice wasn’t looking she made her way over to Keyman and told him she wanted to go with him.
“No,” said Keyman. “You must go alone, I need to stay here to the end and keep trying to get through to the others. But come… I will show you the way.”
PART 3
SUFFERING SORROW
Standing before the dark entrance of the tunnel Sorrow was filled with dread, not really knowing if she could trust Keyman, but absolutely knowing she couldn’t stay.
Sorrow took the first step of her long, lonely journey which would lead her to the light outside. The tunnel was so narrow she wondered how some of her friends could have made it anyway, and it was so dark she could only feel her way through. Sorrow was beginning to sweat and panic and couldn’t stop thinking of Sacrifice breathing the fatal gas… nor how beautiful she felt when they danced.
At this point the tunnel was closing in tightly around her with no space to sit and rest and no end to the darkness. She stopped. She wanted to turn back. Inside she could feel herself screaming, but there were no words. Just then she remembered what Keyman had said; ‘…help can only help itself’.
Speaking these words to herself Sorrow drew from her innermost being the strength that would save her and slowly began moving along the tunnel again. Almost straight away she could see ahead of her a small dim light. So encouraged by this, she began moving faster and faster and as the light grew bigger and brighter she knew Keyman was right. Then Sacrifice came back into her thoughts. If only she had more time with him, he may have followed her. But feeling her pain only drew her closer to the light.
Now here was Sorrow, finally at the end of the tunnel. Above the opening was a sign that read: ‘YOU CAN CHECK IN ANYTIME YOU LIKE – BUT YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE’.
Sorrow looked out upon a bright, sunny day. The air was warm on her face and she felt a sense of peace and calm as she stepped out and breathed deep. But little did she know it was not the end of the darkness.
Sorrow felt strong and proud of herself for having the courage to do what she believed in her heart to be right, even though it meant giving up Sacrifice. That long dark, God-forsaken tunnel had led Sorrow into a town that was strange and unfamiliar - a place where she had no choice but to stay, for she remembered the sign at the end of the tunnel stated that you can never leave, and she had made that choice alone.
Passing by a shop window, Sorrow glanced at her reflection and was stopped in her tracks by what she saw; a pathetic looking, skinny woman with dark shadows cradling her eyes. That long dark tunnel had certainly taken its toll on her. Then she remembered one of the promises that God had made to her a very long time ago - ‘You will have back everything you’ve lost…’ then suddenly it hit her; she had just lost all she had ever wanted.
‘THE SOUL INN – Last Drinks in
Sadness overcame her as she remembered her old mates from Hotel Soul and wondered if anyone made it out alive.
That night Sorrow dreamed that she was trying to get into an old house in the woods and believed Sacrifice was inside. The door was locked but she tried to force it open. Suddenly, standing by her side, was dear old Keyman who had led her to safety on that disastrous night at Hotel Soul.
“Why do you want to go back in there my child? Do you not remember how I helped you out before? It is not where you really want to go, and I may not be able to help you out next time - please Sorrow, try to remember!” appealed Keyman earnestly.
But Sorrow’s longing was so great, that she instantly found his keys in her hand. Upon entering the house, Sorrow met with much more than she expected. There before her stood Sacrifice, in a loving embrace with another woman. Her heart sank with the realisation that this was their old house, but much was missing. All the pictures of their special times together were gone from the walls. Standing by the window she looked out and saw a calm blue ocean, but something wasn’t right. She couldn’t tell where the ocean met the sky as a great mist sat upon the water.
‘There’s no horizon,’ she thought to herself and was overcome with grief.
Just then Sacrifice handed her a baby and said, “You’ll have to take him now… I can’t have him any longer.”
“That’s right,” said the woman, “Sacrifice is taking me to the cave today.”
Sorrow awoke sobbing. Feeling such a heavy emptiness, she knew that Sacrifice was dead, and a precious part of her had died too. The ache in her heart was just too much.
‘When will it go away?’ she wondered fearing that she would never forget.
It was a cold wet afternoon but Sorrow needed to walk. Strolling along with her thoughts she wandered through the happy memories kept safely tucked away inside her heart, and her tears became one with the rain. Before long, Sorrow found herself deep in the woods. In the distance she could hear the song of the Night Bird and noticing that dusk was nearing she began heading home. Darkness was setting in fast around her and as Sorrow stepped up her pace she stumbled and fell, hitting her head against a rock.
Now she found herself in the most beautiful place she had ever seen. Lush green foliage surrounded her, and the sun flickered through upon a deep Billabong that lay before her. On the other side, a little creek rolled its waters peacefully into the pool. Sorrow didn’t know where she was or how she got there.
“Am I dead?” she questioned herself.
Then a familiar voice answered behind her saying - “Of course not Sorrow. Your heart has driven you to escape the darkness you feel and has brought you to a place of healing.”
Sorrow turned, not surprised to see Keyman. “So where do I go now?” asked Sorrow, not feeling sure she wanted to know.
“Just walk on a little further and understanding will come.” answered Keyman. But before she could ask him which direction to take, Keyman was gone. Sorrow felt so lost and alone in this beautiful peaceful garden of her soul.
‘If he didn’t tell me which direction to go, then it can’t be important - only that I walk on a little further…’ thought Sorrow. And so she did.
It wasn’t long until Sorrow found herself entering a clearing amid the trees, and was shocked by what she saw. It was a turtle hanging from a rope by its neck and the shell was broken open. Although horrified, Sorrow advanced to take a closer look. To her surprise she discovered the turtle had eggs inside of it and they were undamaged. Sorrow felt compassion and although it appeared dead, she thought that maybe she could save the babies. Carefully, she untied the poor creature trying hard to keep the eggs from falling out and breaking on the hard ground, and then continued walking.
Now with a new sense of purpose, Sorrow intended to find her way back to the Billabong where Keyman had last spoken to her. There she could lay the poor mother turtle to rest in the watery home she knew and loved and hoped that Keyman would return.
Along the way she came to an old bridge that crossed a muddy creek. Sorrow had now been walking for a long while and the burden of carrying the dead creature was greatly depleting her strength.
‘Well, it’s dirty, but it is water…’ thought Sorrow. So she placed the turtle’s body down beside the water’s edge and almost instantly it wriggled into the creek leaving its eggs behind on the bank. Sorrow watched in amazement as this creature that she believed was lifeless, swam eagerly through the murky water like it knew exactly where it was going.
Sorrow then sat down beside the eggs on the grassy bank and wondered how she could help them hatch. Her thoughts were soon distracted by the sound of footsteps. Delighted to see Keyman walking across the bridge toward her Sorrow marveled at how he always turned up when she wasn’t sure what to do.
“I see that you have found life within death and hope within pain. You have carried the injured one back to the home where it belongs, and have been left with new life, but for this life to hatch you must truly say goodbye to Sacrifice before it destroys you and kills the real passion that was first placed in your heart....and only then will you find what is real in your life.” Keyman spoke with such a knowing in his voice.
PART 4
THE HEALING KEY
Sorrow wondered what Keyman meant exactly about her having to say goodbye to Sacrifice, as she had already said her goodbyes to him on that freaky night at Hotel Soul. She had served her time grieving the loss of him and their life together, and she had released the hot, bitter tears that came from a well deep within the core of her being. She knew they would never be together again and had no choice but to accept it.
‘How else am I to let him go?’ she agonised.
Her thoughts had made her forget Keyman and once again she found herself alone. Then, remembering the eggs, realised she wasn’t completely alone and so continued carrying them along the path hoping to find her way back to the Billabong
where she believed it best for the turtle babies to be born. All the while keeping in mind what Keyman had said about ‘life within death’ and ‘hope within pain'. Sorrow knew that he couldn’t be just part of her imagination - he knew too much.
‘But what else can I do to free myself from Sacrifice?’ she cried on the inside.
When Sorrow finally reached the Billabong, she was delighted to discover a magnificent goldfish with a long flowing tail swimming gracefully in the water and as she watched, became mesmerised by its beauty. Her daydreaming suddenly came to an end when appearing behind the fish was a long black eel with an enormous gaping mouth.
“Oh No!” cried Sorrow helplessly. “It’s going to die!”
Suddenly Sorrow heard the Keyman’s voice, but this time he couldn’t be seen.
“Sorrow, do not despair, the goldfish in the water is the life within your Soul and the eel is what threatens to devour it. Feed the beast with what is left from the pain, for you cannot carry it any longer… then the goldfish will surely live.”
‘What the hell is he talking about now!’ thought Sorrow feeling quite exasperated and annoyed by Keyman’s poetic lectures.
“WHY CAN’T YOU JUST SPEAK TO ME IN PLAIN ENGLISH FOR ONCE SO I CAN UNDERSTAND?” She screamed loudly.
In a tearful state, Sorrow sat down and lovingly placed the eggs in her lap, and as she cried, her tears washed over them. All of a sudden a crack appeared in one of the eggs and it occurred to her how sometimes a broken shell means new life, not death.
Remembering the pain and injury the eggs had survived through disturbed Sorrow deeply as she began to realise what Keyman had just been trying to tell her. But trusting his words, she walked over to the water’s edge and tossed in the eggs. The eel devoured them instantly then swam out of sight. Before Sorrow could think of what to do next, there was Keyman standing before her with something in his hand.
“Sorrow, it’s time for you to go home now. Here is a map to show you the way,” he said, passing it to her. But as Sorrow reached out her hand to take it, a swift gust of wind swept by and took it from Keyman’s hand. Then he was gone.
~~~*~~~
Sorrow could feel the wind on her face as she lay on the ground and upon opening her eyes found herself at the entrance of a cave. As she sat up, an old weathered piece of newspaper blew right into her lap. It was front-page headlines and it read: ‘UNPLUGGED AT HOTEL SOUL - THE LAST BLAST!’
‘If only they knew how it really was,’ thought Sorrow. ‘I survived, so I should be the one to tell the story…and those poor souls were my lifelong friends and each one played a special part in the life of Hotel Soul. That old place was a living being in itself and one with a magic untold. So many had entered its doors and although they could always leave, they just didn’t and wouldn’t…not to mention old Keyman… and what about the tunnel? - they should know about that too and what it all really means’.
In this moment, Sorrow felt a new passion arise inside of her, one which would give voice to her Soul and be the key to her healing, and that which would live on forever. And so began the story … ‘Welcome to the Hotel Soulifornia - such a lovely place’.
PART 5
SORROW REFLECTIONS
Keyman’s wisdom never left Sorrow as she laboured day and night over her computer getting the story ‘just right’, and re-living the saga alone. During this time Sorrow discovered that there was so much more to her story than she had first anticipated, and how one important fact seemed to reveal another. Sorrow was also beginning to see just how far she’d come since letting go of Sacrifice at the Billabong that day, and how much she had learned about herself. At least now she could think about her loss without uncontrollable sadness. Even though Sorrow couldn’t see Keyman anymore, she always felt that he was near, listening, watching, guiding and comforting her. For Sorrow it was a time of great inspiration and enlightenment.
Day by day as she wrote, her story revealed the invisible force behind all the people and events in her life. However, regardless of how far Sorrow had come she had no idea that she was about to fall even further down than ever before, to that mysterious place that resides in us all, but many never dare to venture – and Sorrow, not knowing yet, had been blessed with the courage that was needed and would eventually see that Soulifornia was a precious gift in disguise.
On the day that Sorrow was to send her story to the publisher a strange event took place. Running out of time, she worked diligently all day long to complete her work. However, on this day
This reminded Sorrow of how the emergency vehicle couldn’t get through that day to Hotel Soul because of a storm. It seemed ironic. If it wasn’t for the storm her dear friends and Sacrifice would still be alive. Now her own attempt to keep Hotel Soul alive had seemed to be in vain because of a storm. It was a phenomenon that determined to keep the truth hidden.
Sorrow had believed that this was the day she was finally going to put closure to a part of her life that had consumed her for much too long, but how wrong she was. Watching the snow fall outside her window her spirit began to fall also. Closing her eyes she sank into her grief once again.
Now Sorrow found herself standing at the site where Hotel Soul once stood, looking at a pile of burnt rubble and broken windows that once framed smiling faces. Rummaging through the remains she tried to find anything at all that she could keep as a memento. It was as though she was searching for a most priceless treasure and knew that it was hidden there somewhere, if only she could find it.
Just when her hope was failing, there amongst the rubble Sorrow noticed a drumstick poking through a pile of ash. She was so excited that she began frantically raking through the debris with her bare hands, hoping to come across the other one. Much to her disappointment it could not be found, yet she was filled with both sadness and joy. This was Sacrifice’s drumstick, one that had beaten along with her heart on many a night at Hotel Soul, as she sang alongside him. Sorrow imagined how thrilled he would be to know that one of his drumsticks was the only thing that wasn't burnt in the fire. It even brought a smile to her face just thinking about his reaction.
Sorrow sat up straight in her chair.
‘Wow, what a dream…’ she said, thinking of the drumstick.
Regardless of her visit back to the remains of Hotel Soul, she felt ok - at least she did until she glanced over at the finished story sitting on her desk and noticed the clock showing 6.00pm. Sorrow, recalled the day’s events and fearing the empty days that lay before her, wondered what she was to do now that her story was done. This time Keyman didn’t show.
That night, and many more nights and days following, Sorrow hardly slept. Nor did she eat much, or even breathe the same way again. It was to remain this way for Sorrow for a long time to come as the emptiness and loneliness consumed her body and soul, denying herself of every life giving source that existed around her, and feeling like she may as well have suffocated alongside her beloved Sacrifice. Why was she punishing herself like this and where was Keyman now?
Sorrow could not stop thinking about Sacrifice’s drumsticks and how important they had been to him. Once again her heart pulled her mind back Hotel Soul memories and she felt a deep yearning to go back there. Although she cried out to Keyman he did not answer, and she felt more alone than ever.
The next day Sorrow prepared herself to return to the Hotel Soul site, knowing very well that finding it was not going to be easy and harder still to find her way back. But Sorrow had the most reliable instrument to guide her, and that was her heart. It was now noon and Sorrow set out through the woods where she used to walk and began tracing her thoughts back to where she last saw Keyman. Then she remembered the cave, and how she awoke at its entrance on the day she fell.
This time she was better prepared with a light in case it grew dark before she reached her destination. It was her hope that Keyman’s guidance would come back to her somewhere along the way and lead her there. Then she remembered the dream about her old house and how Keyman asked her if she was sure she wanted to go back inside, and how he may not be able to save her next time if she did. Was she pushing things too far this time?... Part 6-7
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