PART 6

A BEAT IN TIME

The day was sunny and warm and Sorrow was enjoying the smells and sounds of nature as she walked in search of the cave.  After a while she sat to rest and in her stillness she could hear the faint sound of running water.  Setting out in the direction of the sound Sorrow anticipated a cool drink.  As she approached the stream she heard a beautiful female voice singing a sad tune.  Then she saw her, an aged woman with a long silver braid, kneeling by the water’s edge.  Sorrow felt drawn to this woman and her song so she walked down to the edge of the stream to say hello. 

“Hi, I’m Sorrow- beautiful day isn’t it?” 

The woman stood up, and with a face tattooed by the soul, looked directly into Sorrow’s eyes and replied, “Oh yes, it really is…hello, I’m Kathrodite.”

Sorrow was fascinated with this old woman’s eyes, so filled with beauty and mystery and yet a sadness beyond words.

 “What brings you this far into the woods?” asked Kathrodite curiously. 

 “I’m looking for the cave,” answered Sorrow.  “I have been to it once before but I just don’t know how I got there.” 

With a slightly smug grin Kathrodite replied, “Are you sure you want to go back there Sorrow…is it really where you want to go?” 

Upon hearing these words, Sorrow felt a hot rush through her body and nervously answered saying – “Yes…more than you could know.”

Kathrodite told Sorrow that she knew where the cave was but explaining directions to her would be difficult.  However, having a map of the area at her house, she invited Sorrow to go with her to get it.  As they were making their way out of the woods darkness started to fall, and once again the Night Bird resumed its timeless song.

Entering Kathrodite’s house, Sorrow felt a strong sense of belonging.  The walls were strewn with old photos of happy faces and good times, and something about them looked quite familiar to her.  One photo in particular took Sorrow quite by surprise.  It was a picture of Kathrodite with Keyman!

“Kathrodite, how do you know Keyman?  I know him too!” she exclaimed all in one breath.

“I know you do Sorrow.  He was my husband, and we shared a love so strong, until one day I found myself having to leave him at Hotel Soul…he became so one with the place that he would never leave it, so I had to let him go.” 

Sorrow became speechless as she pondered the irony of it all. It was just as she had done with Sacrifice.

As Kathrodite was searching for the map that showed the way to the cave, Sorrow continued looking around the room which reminded her of an old second hand junk shop that displayed its wares lovingly as though they were priceless treasures.  So many memories of Hotel Soul now surrounded her and she felt as though she was dreaming again. “How did she know that I knew Keyman?” she pondered to herself.

Looking around the room further, Sorrow was drawn to a dusty old shelf where she was about to find what she had been searching for all this time.  There upon it laid a drumstick with a note attached and it read: ‘To Sorrow…I loved you with all that I had… I’m sorry I was afraid to follow you, but I just couldn’t...’

Sorrow knew in her heart that she was destined to have this love, for she had committed her soul to it many lifetimes ago. 

“Kathrodite…why didn’t you tell me about this message from Sacrifice when I first mentioned who I was?” asked Sorrow.

“Because I knew you would find it,” answered Kathrodite knowingly.

“So where is the other drumstick?” Sorrow was beginning to get impatient now.

“I believe it remains at Hotel Soul,” she replied .

Sorrow recalled her dream of finding that drumstick amongst the burnt remains of Hotel Soul, and knew that she need not find the cave or Keyman after all.  Her search for the site of Hotel Soul was now unnecessary for she had found herself completely in the midst of it inside Kathrodite’s home, the place that Kathrodite herself had become one with and obviously could never leave. Sorrow now understood that Hotel Soul continues to live with or without her story, but the sad music of Sorrow and Sacrifice could not be played with one drumstick alone.  It was over now for Sorrow, she had heard the curtain call.  So the despair and yearning she had sustained for so long, now settled into a quiet place within her.

“Here is the map Sorrow, I knew it was here somewhere.”

“Its ok,” replied Sorrow, “I don’t need one anymore,” she spoke smiling.

A new song had begun.  Sorrow now understood that Sacrifice was the most priceless treasure that life had given her. He had led her to something even more powerful than the call of love and that was the passion of her soul to always seek its understanding no matter what the cost.  This is the passion which would re-unite her with her love again in time - but his name would no longer be Sacrifice.  She had also learned that her story need not be read by any one, for Hotel Soulifornia resides within us all.  We enter life through its doors, then we are led to the place where we will hear the true Song of our Soul.

PART 7

THE POOL OF ACCEPTANCE

It was another dusk moment for Sorrow as she made her way home from her friend Kathrodite’s house, and the Night Bird began his familiar and peaceful sad tune.  But tomorrow would be a new and special day for Sorrow.

Along the way Sorrow came across the muddy creek where she had laid down the injured turtle the day she tried to save it.  It was getting darker now but Sorrow was no longer afraid of the dark and she stopped to rest and ponder the day beneath the stars.  She was no longer in grief over her Sacrifice but that all consuming feeling of loneliness was coming upon her more and more as she was getting closer to home.  Just at that moment she was distracted by the sounds of laughter coming from the other side of the creek.

Looking across through the trees she could see lights, and movement.   Music was playing, and people were dancing.  Music, dancing, laughter - how much she missed this was beyond measure.  “Who are these people?” she wondered.  “How I wish I could join them…they are so happy.”  Now, again, she heard that familiar old voice:

“These folks are happy because they have found the Pool of Acceptance and that is why they are celebrating.   You can choose the happiness and celebrate with the others, but if you want to feel true joy you must first drink of its water and then understand the difference.”

“Hi Keyman” answered Sorrow… “Ok tell me then, where do I find the Pool of Acceptance so I can drink from it?”  she enquired quite reluctantly remembering her previous encounters with Keyman.

“Look before you Sorrow” answered Keyman.

“You’ve got to be joking!...”  exclaimed Sorrow loudly.  Of course, Keyman was referring to the muddy, murky creek water that was in front of her. “…But it is so disgustingly filthy. Look, there is even an ugly brown slime floating around on top!  It’s sure to make me sick!”

“Trust me Sorrow, you must never be fooled by appearances.  You must see beyond the surface to find the gift within acceptance.  And if you drink of this water not only will you join the happy ones, but you will no longer feel alone. It is only your thoughts that make you sick…go on Sorrow, drink.”  replied Keyman with that all knowing tone in his voice.

Sorrow had learned not to argue with Keyman, so going against what her thoughts were telling her she took a drink.  It made her feel strangely dizzy and just as she expected, sick to her stomach so she lay down on the grassy bank, then fell asleep. (yes here we go again.)

Sure enough when Sorrow awoke she found herself on the other side of the creek where the music and happy people where.  In this place she felt so different.  There was no pain.  She couldn’t cry if she wanted to.  It was such a wonderful feeling for Sorrow; until she realised that although there was no pain, neither could she feel the happinesss that the others seemed to be experiencing.

However the ‘no pain’ feeling felt so comfortable to her after such a long time of suffering that she wasn’t even bothered about that fact.  Only the fact that Keyman had told her that she would have this joy if she drank from this ‘pool of acceptance’, and although she did, something was amiss.  She could only feel … nothing.

As Sorrow pondered Keyman’s recent words, these ones kept repeating in her head: ‘…join the happy ones’, ‘…will no longer feel alone.’    Then it became clear to her,  yes she has joined the happy ones, and yes she does not feel alone here, but Keyman did NOT say that she would feel  happy.

As usual, when Sorrow really thought about Keyman’s guidance it began to make sense to her….sort of. And as usual, the message more often than not came tainted with Sacrifice. Then from her heart of hearts she offered up the question:

“Does this mean that in order to feel no pain I must sacrifice happiness also?”

Keyman answered back instantly:  “Oh Sorrow, you are so close…”